I felt very alone during the period of my life between 1991 and 1995.
Dennis sustained a job-related back injury while working and became plagued with almost constant pain. He was adamant about NOT choosing a disability retirement so he struggled to hang on to his job in hopes of an early retirement. There were times he could not walk from the house to the curb; workmen’s compensation became an option and explorations into available medical treatments became routine.
The time had come for me to seek employment as it became clear that Dennis was having difficulty performing his job duties. Our daughter was poised to enter college; our son was a sophomore in high school. I began the job search having been out of the workforce for 10 years with few job connections and zero computer skills. I was ultimately able to land a position with Napa County. Our once stable life became full of uncertainties, sprinkled with challenges and Dennis was struggling with unending pain. Where was God?? Why could I not discern His presence? I prayed for courage and strength; but still felt the weight of all the family’s frustrations, uncertain future and struggle on my shoulders.
Since that time, I have a clearer perspective of the statement “Let Go; Let God”. When I felt so hopeless/helpless and desperate to “make things better” for Dennis and our family, God had been present behind the scenes all the time. I prayed but I don’t think I listened very well or even waited for guidance. I wanted everything fixed NOW!
Prayer: Heavenly Father, when life’s challenges present themselves, help me to be still and listen for your guidance…and to remember that life is a process that I don’t really control. I must “let go” and be open to your direction and love so that what flows from You through me will be exactly what is needed at the moment. Amen
Leigh Andersen