Not long ago I had a dream about a set of wood-carving tools that were a gift to me from my father. I’m not sure of the year — my age — but probably mid teen years.
The tools were lovely. Four cutters with bulbous handles that fit in the palm of the hand for precise control. They were set in an exquisite light colored wooden box with a sliding lid that also contained a shaped whetstone for sharpening the tools. They were fine instruments and, I’m sure, quite expensive.
The tools were lovely to look at and to handle. However looking and touching was about the extent of my use of them. I did not know how to even start a carving — what sort of wood to use and how to choose a design or model. There was no book and no instruction from my father. I do not know what prompted the gift and what his expectations of me might have been.
I may have used one of his carving tools for a model-building project and he thought I should have my own. My younger brother and I built model trains and airplanes in the basement shop at home. My dad was a tool and die maker — a precision machinist — a sculptor. We boys were encouraged to “be handy.” He sharpened a pocket knife for me to use in a whittling project. I wiped the chips off on my pants and cut a hole in my leg. I embarrassed him with my un-handiness.
Whatever he expected, I did not deliver. I often had the feeling of not being good enough — a disappointment to him. I got over it.
Fathers and sons . . . expectations and misunderstanding. When I was a child, I thought and understood as a child. With maturity I became my own self — not only someone’s son. Jesus did not leave us comfortless but with the Holy Spirit as teacher and guide. An earthly father could be disappointed, a son could be confused, but God’s love is forever and unconditional.
Prayer: I pray to know even as I am known. Amen
Michael Herzog