THE GIFT OF UNCERTAINTY
When I graduated from high school, everyone was subject to a publication called “The Prophecy” in which there were five words to describe the person. One of the words was “pastime.” For me that was “worrying.” I doubt my personality has changed all that much, but with age and some wisdom I have figured out some healthy and unhealthy ways of managing. Uncertainty is part of life and most people don’t like it. However, I know that growing involves change and that it is sometimes painful.
For most of my youth I knew, or was certain, that I would go to seminary. After graduation from seminary, I was pretty uncertain about that decision. I then chose to get a masters in social work and went a different route which clearly was a “gift.”
Lent ends with a resurrection, but a few days before, Jesus utters the psalmist’s words, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me.” Those words have been sounded by many people particularly over this last year, and the tragic violence in so many forms, continues. It is hard for me to see the gift of the uncertainty, and I do not know what to do. As for the followers of Jesus, they continued to live uncertain lives under very violent oppressive Roman rule. However, they continued to be together in small communities and were known for how they loved each other.
Today I feel that love and support with our church community. I also feel it is important that I support, and acknowledge to myself that there are also many people all over the world that are helping amidst what looks like so many dismal situations. The glass does not have to be half empty.
In our book group, we are reading Kathleen Norris’s “Amazing Grace.” In a short chapter on ecstasy, she sees it as uncertainty. “The root meaning of ecstasy is to put out of place, to lose one’s stand. It is scary because it takes us out of a place we are certain of…” She says we need the ability to step out of the comfort zone, in order to understand those who are suffering and in order to be able to love. For me that “ability” is something learned and then practiced. There have been many teachers, and the church has fortunately been one of the most significant for me.
Prayer: In times of doubt and fear, help me to remember. “Do not be afraid,” and “God is with us.” Amen
Bill Snorf