Between Shouting and Silence
Anyone who knows me, knows that it is hard for me to “keep silent”. I think I haven’t learned that lesson yet! I speak up. And the outcome, for me personally, isn’t always great. I am reflecting on my life.
My mother fell into dementia and was sadly removed from her beautiful home in SF (with a bay view and her kitty cat and fabulous antiques) into a ‘memory care’ place – none of her fabulous possessions, no views, no external access, no kitty, no cigarettes. I spoke out for my mother and I was able to delay her move about for a year and a half. My oldest sister had a history of mental illness; more importantly, she was a bright, happy soul and she loved life. (And no, she didn’t always make the best decisions.) A few years after my mother passed, my sister lost her wonderful home in the Inner Sunset and I fought for her to have independent representation – to represent and protect her. I found her the world’s best classic old studio on Nob Hill with an amazing view. She was very happy. That is what my mother wanted for her – a beautiful place to live and for her to be happy. I spoke up on her behalf so that she could live independently.
But my siblings disagreed with me – seeking to control me, my mother, my sister and the balance sheet. They’ve never forgiven me for speaking up. Should I have been silent? I could not – I followed my heart.
Prayer: Please help me to be wise enough to come to you for wisdom, for understanding, and for the encouragement I so desperately need. I often discover that my emotions can easily rule my day. Though I long for a perfect day, I realize there is no perfection on this side of heaven. Instead, I must find my hope and help in you and pray through whatever trials and struggles I am facing. Amen
Sally Archambault