When I was in college, I had a few friends whose romantic partners cheated on them, and then those friends would ask me if they should forgive them. With little effort I can clearly remember the evenings spent in café booths telling them, “There are no reasonable excuses,” and “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” and I said it with full conviction.
Then during my last year of college my best friend came to me in tears saying he had cheated on his boyfriend. Without need of thought I came to his defense. I tried to comfort him, to figure out a justification, and then insisted that his partner would, and should, forgive him. My best friend is an amazing people who is, of course, deserving of forgiveness. At the end of that evening, in a moment of self-reflection, I realized first-hand the power of personal bias. It was a terrible realization. If my best friend’s partner had cheated on him, I would have destroyed that man, no questions asked, but the roles were reversed. I didn’t have the heart to hold my best friend accountable.
That was when I resolved that “evil doers” of all stripes and magnitude should be treated the same: with compassion and accountability. Anyone at any time can find themselves being the “evil doer” because none of us are infallible, and if I do something wrong, I hope I will be held accountable compassionately.
Prayer: Dear God, may compassion and justice rule our hearts when confronted with evil. Don’t let our emotions drive us to demonize an enemy, and may we give ourselves up to be made accountable when we do wrong. Amen
Keith Calara