Between Grief and Hope
When my brother and I talk about our mother, we always say, “We had the best mom.” I know a lot of people think their mom was the best, but trust me, Jean Oertel wins the prize.
I grew up in Southern California (a Dodger fan, but I eventually saw the error of my ways) but moved northward to San Luis Obispo, Seattle and finally to Napa. My mom loved it here and we moved her here when she as in her 80s, after my Dad died. She didn’t deserve the way she died, it happened in inches and she was so diminished by the end. I was scraped out, my soul was dry and I was so afraid I’d never be able to think of her when she was witty, fun-loving, smart and engaged with the world. She absolutely loved people and her family and she left a big hole in my heart and life.
I was done with God, religion and all of it. So how did I make my way to this church? Mom had transferred her membership here and my husband, who loved her, drove her to services when she lived at the Meadows. She died in 2011, and I’m not sure when it entered my head to visit, but Loie and Dave Whitmer have always shared their love for the church and I knew a few other people here, so I knew I’d have friends I could sit with.
Was Mom nudging me? Who knows, but imagine my surprise and delight when Bonnie Anderson told me that she remembered my mom and that I sit where she used to sit. Almost every Sunday my eyes fill up with tears, from a hymn or words from Pastor Marylee, from looking at the stained-glass windows, hearing the choir; I feel close to my folks and the wonderful life I had with them.
Prayer: Oh God, help me to remember that love never dies. Amen
Gretchen Oertel