I have felt alone in the desert, wandering with thoughts of why me, questioning God’s plan.
As a young mother of a 1-year-old, Lindsay Whitmer, I found out the joyous news that baby number 2 was on the way. Dave and I were so excited as we had always planned on having 2 children. I was doing great, visiting family in San Jose, when things started to feel off. While Lindsay stayed with her aunt and uncle and played with her cousin, Dave took me to the nearby Kaiser Hospital. Unfortunately, I had a miscarriage. We were devastated, confused and feeling that our little world had been terribly shaken. I was depressed, my emotions were crazy and even though I was surrounded by loving family and friends, I felt all alone. They say time heals all wounds, but the time it takes to heal can be a long and lonely journey. How could God do this “to me”? After many prayers and many tears, I decided that this must be what was meant to be. I hoped that someday I would look back and make sense of it. How right I was!! Not too many months later, I was expecting again, the result was the birth of our son Dale Whitmer. We had a beautiful little girl and now an amazing baby boy. How blessed we are.
I still look back and remember the baby that was never to be, but give thanks for the fantastic son I have who would probably never have been if the other baby had been born. Dave, Lindsay, Ryan (Lindsay’s boyfriend), Dale, Brittany (Dale’s wife), and our grandson’s, Sonny and Ellis fill me with so much love and joy, I could never have imagined it those years ago when I questioned God’s plan. I felt alone in the desert but have come to the other side with gratitude for all the blessings that have been bestowed upon me. When I hear of others who have had miscarriages, I tell them to have faith that the plan for them will be revealed.
Prayer: Lord, let us not be afraid of the journey we are on, with its unexpected twists and turns. Help us to remember to be grateful for the blessings that follow us wherever we go. Amen
Loie Whitmer