Yes, this is the title of an 8-week JustFaith class Keith Calara and I are co-facilitating
this summer. On Tuesday I had the opportunity to practice my communication tools in a
difficult conversation. A man came into the church office to talk with the pastor. He was
young, nice looking, clean, with a friendly, open face. But he came to tell me that flying
rainbow flags “all around the church” was more than wrong… it was unchristian,
disrespectful, pagan, and promoted a sexual agenda. He told me this several times, in
addition to saying that we misunderstood the rainbow, which God meant to be a
reminder of wiping evil off the earth. I tried redirecting the conversation – actually I
interrupted him several times – asking his name, where he lives, where he worships, if
he’d like to know more about us. But he’d come in with an agenda and pretty forcefully
kept to it. I got him to walk outside of the office with me by pointing to a rainbow flag in
the hallway. I said that the rainbow is a sign of welcome to everyone, all kinds of people,
and that led him to ask if that would include men in drag coming to worship, or people
wearing tee shirts with upside down crosses, or satanic symbols… and I said I hadn’t
had anyone come in drag or objectionable shirts but that everyone would be welcome,
everyone respectful (which he had ceased to be). At this point I simply ran out of
communication tools. I invited him to worship with us on Sunday morning, and then said
goodbye, and shut the office door behind me.
I wasn’t afraid, but I was discomforted by his emotional and physical intensity, and that
he wasn’t able to relate to anything I said. I realized that this is a common experience
for our Jewish and LGBTQIA+ siblings, and many others, and that the time to learn how
to have conversations in difficult times is now.
Our congregation has been awarded a grant of $7,500 from the Los Rios District Union
to work with Common Ground community organizer, Liz Hall, in engaging our neighbors,
including the nursery school we house, in conversations about things we care about,
what we have to offer each other, and what matters most to us. As our partnership
progresses with Burbank Housing and Napa Valley Community Housing, conversations
with our neighbors will be crucial in building housing and goodwill.
I’m looking forward to the JustFaith class, to learning better communication tools, and to
working with Liz Hall. I want to be a better listener, and better at speaking my truth. God
is ever ready to give me (and all of us) opportunities to grow!
In faith,
Pastor Marylee